Not sure how to talk about grief? You're not alone. In our culture, grief isn't socialized — this means our culture doesn't embrace it's existence, and has a relatively limited scope of "accepted" or celebrated practices around grief. We're here to change that. This ever-growing Grief Glossary is intended to help you understand the nuanced, multifaceted experience of grief. 

 

Anticipatory Grief 

A feeling of loss before something inevitable has happened. We feel anticipatory grief when we know something is going to happen, such as a loved one being diagnosed with a terminal illness. 

 

Grief Pleasantries

Statements that are meant to offer comfort or support, but often don't empathetically or fully acknowledge the experience of the person who is grieving, and can come across as shallow. For example: everything happens for a reason; if anyone can handle this, it’s you; time heals all wounds; you’re so strong; thoughts and prayers.

 

Secondary Losses

The things that occur as a result of or after the primary loss. Our body does not know the difference between primary and secondary losses: we grieve them all the same. Which means it’s completely understandable that your grief around a specific event feels so big. 

 

Grief-Adjascent

Grief stricken describes someone who is experiencing grief, and is overwhelmed by mental or emotional suffering or distress caused by a loss. In other words: the griever. On the other hand, grief adjacent describes a person who is close to, a witness of, or a supporter of someone experiencing grief. This could be a family member, friend, or even someone you loosely know in your tight-knit community. Why does this distinction matter? It can be hard for the griever if those who are grief adjacent make the experience about them — intentionally or not. In fact, many grievers report that some of the hardest moments they experienced where when others tried to be sad with them, blurring the boundary of grief ownership.